Actually, I do not know the French for blogger. Probably because my French is at the first-grade level. It might be "blogger." But is "blogger" masculine or feminine? Je suis une blogeuse.
I don't like the term "blogger" actually. Blog-bla. I think of this space as my online notebook. BLOG. A strange realization though. I realized that I have done almost no formal writing at all in an entire year. The least amount of writing I've done since I "became" a writer. I wrote the talk for Naropa that I posted here, that might be coming out in chapbook form in the spring. That took me MONTHS. And then now I'm working on this insanely long essay on Barbara Loden, which is really about walking, and failure, and isolation, and hot messes.This essay from genesis to end has taken at least four months. There were some aborted essays as well. I guess I reworked some of Heroines for some months, and then editing notes, production, etc. I guess I was still promoting Green Girl in the early winter/spring. I guess all of this takes a lot out of you.
By the way, a few people online have noted that Heroines comes out at the end of the week. It doesn't. Not really. Amazon posted October 12 as the pub date and I guess that's when books are being sent out but the fixed pub date is November 1. This is very important to me as I need to finish this Barbara Loden essay first. So it's not. Out this Friday. Although it's. Kind of out this Friday.
Yesterday I had coffee with a new friend, who's the wife of another rare books librarian in the area. She asked what I have been up to since we saw each other this summer. Instead of mentioning I have a new book out, I tell her I have been in therapy. She talks about her two-week trip to Ireland, which sounds lovely. I talk about how I'm trying to be okay in the moment, trying to figure out my future, thinking maybe about graduate school. I mention later, oh - yeah - I have a book coming out- pretty soon. Maybe this week. She said, "You seem pretty calm for having a book coming out." I said, "Well, I'm in therapy." I guess the therapy stuff feels like the real work, which is work about dealing with the book coming out and writing, and not-writing, so I guess it feels all connected. I don't think I"ll really feel I have a book out until I'm reading from the book in November. Or at least until I get a copy of it - I haven't seen it yet in book form.
I am reading again—Elizabeth Bowen is blowing my mind. The Death of the Heart, which I'm reading in a shitty $2 paperback. So clear, so witty, so richly observed. Some of my favorite reading lately has been online—Masha Tupitsyn is doing some gorgeous work about love on her Love Dog Tumblr (her Love Dog book will be out in the spring I think) and Bhanu Kapil is going to rending territory in her recent posts on displacement, illness, memories, being in London.
Maybe this space here has been my year's work.