Today heat + melancholy made me go off the essay project. My second essay is one I have only tremulously written for the blog, on my mad wives and mistresses of modernism, how I feel possessed by them. Find myself doing anything but that. It feels too tremendous, I feel so certain I'm going to fuck it up...
So I began printing out on my belching stuttering machine my 300-page Under the Shadow of my Roof, my love story of Monkey and her father Mr. Von R, the love triangle with Mrs. Von R, my Emma. As I've written before here, I'm attempting a sort of spatial triptych, but Microsoft Word is terribly limiting. I would love to work with an artist/designer on the project...any readers of this blog interested? I'm looking for a collaboration like Steve Tomasula and Stephen Farrell in Vas. See, I want to play with the form of the book, I want to experiment with the book, but I feel terribly limited with my design skills/potential. I'm hoping to include drawings, hopefully architectural drawings of the various spaces, maybe more in a jokey spirit like Kathy Acker's Blood and Guts, and then also find a way to demarcate the page. For the Mr. Von R section I've been inspired by Eichmann's glass cell for his trial, and I want the text to somehow mimic it.
And then I want Monkey's notebook to actually look like a notebook, somehow, and for the pages to be divided between Mrs. Von R and Monkey, kind of like Coetzee does in his last book. And I knew if I was a better artist I would do it all myself. But I cannot draw. Worth shit. Whenever I try to draw a shape on the blackboard my students chortle with laughter.
If interested email me at email@example.com.